An escape

I love to read, from comics to classic literature. I will read anything. It offers me an escape from....well....me, the simple fact is there is a lot I would like to change about myself, from the way I walk to my fear of completing my ideas. There is so much I idolise from my fave characters, things I emulate, and the things I wish I could do myself. Now I aren't after the ability to punch through solid concrete or anything like that, just the ability to follow my convictions. Today for example I would have loved to do what I thought about doing but I can't  force myself into taking that risk. It was only a kiss.Why couldn't I do that?!?

Paper. Flowers.

So I have been quitting things a lot recently, nothing bad but my dependance on sugar, and love of junk food. I end up in a predicament where I need to replace vices so I have re-taken up origami. Nothing too hard yet but if you want a bouqet of lillies and tulips get me a load of paper in the colours you require and then give me a little time and you will have a glorious bunch of paper flowers.
I know you are ment to get flowers for the people you love and care about but as I work part time I can't afford to go out and spend £60 on flowers on a whim, but I can make loads of paper ones which costs time and when you think about it time is more precious than money, so surely when the choice is between going to a florist and asking for a cliche bunch of flowers (roses anybody?) or making the time to make a bouqet the choice should be fairly simple answer. Yeah I would take the expensive florist any day but then I may start smoking again and I am over 3 years without a cigarette, for you see I have a short attention span. You may not realise this as I seem to spend a while typing these ramblings every so often but if I arent twiddling with something I easily get distracted. Some people consider this rude but I can focus all my senses onto a person if my fingers are busy.
Yeah erm there was a point to this blog which I am rapidly trying to remember, nope its not coming back. But if you want any paper flowers making give me a shout!

I'm. Slippers.

Yeah I know its another of my rubbish titles, but hey its my blog I will start it how I want. I have heard about this survey done about how you can judge a person by their choice in footwear, and I apparently because I wear practical boot for the distance I walk everyday, well that means I am an angry person, so arrrghhh, sorry thats not angry enough ARRRGHHH. Is that angry enough for you? Personally I think the survey is a load of bollocks, but it did get me thinking about how people are like shoes. I have worked out that the shoe I most closely resemble is a slipper.
Its really not as crazy as you may be thinking, ok I can tell you raised an eyebrow so let me explain, you have the outgoing people who are trainers, thats an obvious one, the booze monkeys are either broken high heels or brown loafers, the cautious people are safety shoes, music lovers are wellies and the the free spirited are barefoot. So what does that make me?
Well slippers is the best answer, I mean how many of you beautiful people out there in the whole wide interweb are wearing slippers? I bet not many of you, you see slippers are the forgotten footwear, in this day and age when everything is rushed, fast food, fast cars, and fast women (and for the ladies(fast men), we don't have time for slippers. You forget how special they make you feel, the fact that you can just put on a comfy pair of slippers and forget everything that has happened that day. Try it go on. What I do that stops me from being a bare foot is I can make someone feel really special and then when they forget about me I don't complain as I know that it won't be long before they think about that comfy pair of slippers but after you have one comfy pair no matter how many more you try it won't ever be as comfy as that first pair of slippers.

So take a minute and think what shoes are you?

Not. Often.

Its not too often that I find someone who makes me believe in myself, in fact throughout my life I can think of only three, and as much as I would like to name them I hope they realise who they are and don't need to be named. The downside is wheneer I meet someone I can tell how they are going to affect my life, it does mean sometimes I let people go when I shouldn't, when they have such a positive effect on me I try to keep them around for as long as I can but then if I try too hard to keep them near by they have a tendancy to flee. I'm used to it. Not a good thing I will admit. And thats one of the reasons I don't like people. Often when relying on people they let you down. Although you should not let my bitterness influence the way you deal with people I would suggest excersizing some caution when you meet someone new, I learnt this the hard way, If you open up people will think you're strange, so from that you should never open up to anyone until they have declared you an important part of their life.

Thats where I go wrong, I aren't important to anyone.

Repeating. Mistakes.

Hey its me again, you know that sad lonely guy who stays in on a friday night instead of going out drinking  or playing games online. How are you? Good, glad to hear it, so its seems like ages since I have spoken with you its almost a month. Seems a shame really because of how close we are, but then again absense makes the heart grow fonder. Wait a second I am rambling again, you know I talk when I get nervous. So quick start a new paragraph.
Well as you can tell its a friday night again and I am alone on my sofa, having just got in from a ..... well hmmm how would I describe it... I suppose the walk was nice but the pre-cursor wasn't as pleasent, as per the norm I have been trying to let my heart rule over my head and its left me feeling disappointed. Well there is a suprise!
If you have been reading these blogposts for the past few months you will know that what I do is often based on solid judgement and not felt. I think everything instead of just going on a whim, its something I have trained my self to do. its quite an awkward skill as it means I miss out on oppertunities that I then come to regret, take tonight for instance, I walked roughly a mile and a half to see someone when they finished work. A semi normal thing to do I would believe, I like the walk and in all honesty  I could do with the exercise as I have been getting a bit of a tummy recently. I like this lass that I went to see as she makes me smile to ear to ear. The downside is I can't stand her, she irritates me more than anyone should be able to, and she is incredibly attractive and she pretends that she doesn't know but you can tell she understands fully. This makes it even worse, I aren't even sure why I like her, but I do. I spoke to friends about it and some claim that I may even be love, if that is true then fate really is a mean spirited bitch.
I understand people quite well for a guy who is only twenty four, I can work out what makes them tick and what really gets them annoyed. That said I can't get my head round her at all, she is everything I would love in life but she also is everything I hate about people. That may seem quite a harsh thing to say but I assure I say it with little to no regret, she is a bonafide bitch.
She knows exactly how I feel and yet she plays on that, maybe this is a good thing as I would love to have someone who can challenge me, not to a duel or something but I would love to have an arguement with someone who wouldn't back down or try and resolve it with sex. So then there is that problem, I can't argue with her as she doesn't trust me enough yet. Thats something that gets to me aswell. I trust by instinct, I can tell if I can trust someone within  about five minutes of meeting them, I am a good judge of character since the incident with the ex. Its one of my many defense mechanisms.
I could argue that that is where my life falls apart, I protect from anything and everything, hardly anyone has my number, even less people know where I live and if you don't count workmates hardly anyone even knows my name. That is why it is so easy for me to disappear. I simply don't care about you unless you are important to me.
So thats what I am working on now, trying to like people. Sounds easy doesn't it, thats where you are wrong, people are generally bastards!

Fair't. Middling.

NOt sure how well that phrase is known around the world but it basically means round-a-bout average. I sums me up quite well. I aren't that athletic, or good looking or even that good of a person. In all off these I would class myself as fair t' middling. Its a posistion I have grown up in. I have never been the biggest or brightest, I was always inbetween, it worked. I am still around otherwise how would I be writing this? But now that I have reached a ripe old age I am starting to realise that average isn't what people want. People always want more. More of everything. So the average joe doesn't stand a chance. You may think that I am being all melodramatic but take a look around, you can see it everywhere. Sadly I don't see this changing any time soon. People in general cannot help themselves if there is something slightly better on offer then they want it. I for one can't fault that attitude, it makes sense get the best you can with what you have got. Sometimes though in some areas of life you won't ever get the best but what you get can be the best you ever have.
I like people, sorry forget that I like strangers is the more apt way of phrasing it. Strangers judge on what they can see as it is all they have to judge by and boy do people like to judge. I don't make a good first impression with the way I look but I would class myself as a decent person. I can make anyone feel good about themselves, and make people feel welcome, a phenomenon I don't often get to see from the other side.
I have learnt to not show much emotion, not because its a sign of weakness but because if people see you sad then they ask why, and I don't need people reminding me that I aren't the happiest of bunnies, I do like to smile though. Lots of people don't see me smile that much because I am apparently quite a miserable person. Bu I know what I like and want in life. I want to be wanted, not to be needed. I have skills that I use to make other peoples lives easier and I am always willing to help in any way that I possibly can. Although there is a fine line to walk in this respect, you can be the guy who sorts everything out for everyone else (commonly known as a MUG) or you can be the friend. and thats what annoys me.

Chapter THE Ex

I shared a theory before that no matter what goes on in life there will always be one person who you class as a mistake, not when you are with them but its when you break up that you truly see them for who they are, I have asked quite a few friends about it and they all have one, it isn’t fair to them to write what they have told me about their respective ex’s but I figure it is a big enough deal to share with you so here is the story of my one.

I once thought I was truly in love, it was a relationship of just over two years, she meant everything to me. So when she suggested we move in together you can just imagine how happy I was. Blinded by happiness I had agreed, I knew her family and got on quite well with all of them, our relationship was the happiest I had been in my entire life. Moving in together was a logical step. We both had jobs, or so I thought at the time, and were financially stable I had a decent amount in my savings account and worked thirty hours a week for a decent wage and tended bar on a night. I was happy, I thought that this was everything I wanted in life so I willingly put down a large security deposit, large because of my age and it was my first place and we moved in. I had furniture but not much stuff, things like cushions and ornaments weren’t really something I had ever seen myself buying, but to make it more home like we furnished the place spending roughly three thousand on furniture and the like. I brought my prized possession , my bookcase, it may not sound that important but it was the contents that mattered to me, I had over thirty copies of “A Tale Of Two Cities” no two were the same some were in foreign languages some had been in my possession since I was around 13 when I first read the book. I will admit that not one of the was particularly expensive but it meant everything to me as one of my best friends who has since died bought me some of them and written in the front of them messages to me.

I never realised until we moved in together how little time we had spent with each other, that might sound silly but I was working quite a lot so as to keep up with the rent and food(which I didn’t realise how much we were going through) So I was working from eight in the morning til three in the afternoon Monday to Friday and then out again for ten at night until sometimes four in the morning, I was happy doing this as it was the reason I could afford to move out from my parents and live with what I thought was he love of my life. However when one of my friends asked if he could chat at mine I thought yeah its ok its probably that he wants help with his relationship as mine looked pretty darn great from where I was standing. This friend who doesn’t want to be named is a good friend and I had known him for years and trusted him dearly took me to lunch so we could chat, so over a slice of cheese on toast my world was shattered, there was no way it could have been done gently so he came out and said it. He told me he had slept with my girlfriend.

Of course this was all my friends fault, no way would my partner ever do something like that. She loved me, she told me every day that she loved me. She just couldn’t do anything so heinous so after sitting there dumbfounded for a few minutes he expected me to hit him or something, I just stood up and left him to pay for lunch. I don’t get angry about it anymore as few people know what happened next. I went back to my place and sat on the floor staring up at the ceiling trying to work out what to do next, after something as crushing as that what can you do? I wanted to speak to her, but she was at work until five so I had a couple of hours to get my head straight and have a calm conversation with her about it totally prepared to forgive her as it was still all my friends fault he must of got her drunk or something.

When I went to the kitchen area to get a glass of water things didn’t seem quite right, if she loved me why hadn’t she told me about it she knew I would of forgiven her in a heartbeat and probably ended up blaming myself. After all we hadn’t had sex, we both agreed it was better to wait until we were ready. Her suggestion and I agreed to it, I as have stated I thought it was love and I was willing to do anything to make her happy. So halfway through my glass I had all these images running through my head of what I had done wrong and how I could fix it, with all these things running through my head I hadn’t noticed a friend of mine walking into the kitchen completely naked. A strange occurrence I am sure you will agree. That was the one thing I hadn’t seen coming, I went to our bedroom and found her in bed all sweaty and hot. Knowing that she wouldn’t do anything to urt me I asked if she was ok. What I got in reply I hadn’t expected.

In her sex comatose state of mind she actually told me to get back in bed with her as she only had a couple of hours before I was due home. She actually used my name. Surely this would be enough to get me irate but no I said that I was already home, in fact it was me that she was talking to, still calm I asked her to get dressed so we could talk about it. She agreed. Within ten minutes she was dressed, her hair in a styled state and lipstick on and in her “work gear”. This should have been a clue, she had lost her job around a month ago, or atleast that’s what she told me. And with all that spare time she suddenly had there was nothing to do. I was always working and had no time for her (her words not mine) and she needed some satisfaction as she had tried to get a job and there were none available anywhere(again her words). She then tried to explain that this made her feel alive and wanted, and that this was a one time thing and it would never happen again. So I asked her about what had happened with my friend(the one I had met for lunch) and she had her story all set out, they had met up one night to talk about what to get me for my birthday as I was quite difficult to buy for, and he had plied her with drinks until she couldn’t even remember where she was. That I knew was a lie, my friend couldn’t even afford to get himself drunk let alone someone else also. I knew she was a proper drinker and would take almost £80 in a bar to get drunk as we had been out drinking together quite a few times. But I let her carry on with this story to see if she was finally going to be honest with me, but then she sat next to me and started kissing my neck(my weak spot in case you are interested) and telling me that she loved me and if I loved her then we could still make us work.

Me in my innocence of youth believed her, after all this was love we were talking about. Around a week later I got a bank statement through the post, knowing that I had sufficient funds to cover the rent and all our other outgoings I didn’t feel any need to open until I got back from work, but when I had arrived back after a short shift which I had been doing for nearly a week as I couldn’t stay focussed at work I went home, I found a letter from the landlord explaining that we were behind on the rent, only by a month so only £1200 it was fine, I had easily enough to cover that I could get it to him by the next day. All was okay until I looked for the letter from the bank, I searched high and low for it. As I was worried that it could be being used to steal my identity, (yeah for a young guy I was quite aware of what could happen) I rang work to see if I had taken it there, I had my friend check my locker and it wasn’t there, for all I knew my entire life savings could be being gien to a Nigerian prince or one of these other online scams you hear about. I ran to the bank to report it and get my accounts blocked. Little did I know that there was no need, my bank account had already been emptied, the only other person who knew my pin number was my trustworthy girlfriend who could do no wrong. By the time I had got home the locks had been changed. I got the landlord to let me in after explaining that I must of somehow locked myself out. Everything of mine was ruined. She had taken a hammer to my bookcase and poured all her nail varnish over all my books and given away most of my records. This would have been bad enough but to then find her in bed with a different “friend” of mine I left. Keys in one hand my phone in the other I dropped them on the bed next to her and said my goodbyes, after being taken for a mug for almost three years by this point I just wanted out. I couldn’t do it anymore I would have done anything for her. As I left the room she ran up to me and told me I couldn’t leave her as she was pregnant with our baby, a last gambit as she knew there was nothing I wanted more than to have a family. But we hadn’t had sex for over six months so it couldn’t possibly be mine so I left. I told the landlord to keep the deposit to cover that months rent and for damages to the property and I just left. Since then it has been almost another three years I had gone without ever seeing her again. The relationship cost me everything, most of my friends who when they fond out that she was pregnant thought that I was the bad guy for walking out on her, all my savings, nearly £20,000, my books and worst of all my dignity. From then on she has just been known as the ex.

Since her I have never felt able to trust anyone who told me they loved me, as I never did get over what she did to me, my family couldn’t help and the few friends I still had didn’t know what to do so they were around. I have since started to trust people more but not when it comes to relations of the heart, I tried to rebuild some friendships I lost but that was in vain and I have only felt comfortable letting a handful of people into my life and even then I don’t let most of them know about what happened as it was essentially my fault for believing that someone could actually make me happy.

Now I hope that hasn’t made you feel all guilty or upset because there is a happy ending to this tale, for you see since then I haven’t got my money back, which doesn’t really intrest me, and the friends I lost weren’t really that good as friends, and yes I still live with my folks but I have found someone that does make me happy its just I haven’t worked up the courage to tell her this yet.

Love. Nevermind.

I enjoy people struggling, especially with addition. I have done more then my fair share of substances, I used to drink abusively, and when you couple that with well lets just say it involves needles and smoking and leave it at that. I quit for personal reasons.

Quitting for me was a somewhat easy thing to do, I have the ability to supress parts of my psyche. So it took me about one month to quit smoking, all I did was shut down my instinct to smoke, simple as that. When I saw how much it was saving me financially it set me straight, roughly forty pounds a month was alot when I was only making just over a hundred pound in the same period of time. When it came to the harder things, I needed a little help but I didn't get what I was expecting in that aspect. It took a death of a friend to make me buck my ideas up so when that happened I just cut ties. Every once in a while I get in touch with my stoner friends when I want to just hang out in a field and dance to crap music, but I don't touch anything like that anymore.

I have one regret though, I have suppressed the ability to love openly. It means that I can't actually express my true feelings for people no matter how much I want to.Sadly there is one addiction I have never been able to kick and thats the emotional pain. So when there is a patch out for that I hope you'll let me know.

Here. Again.

As a person I am quite erratic and spontaneous, yet when you compare that with my life there is a stark contrast. Its a glorious sunday, a chill on the breeze and sun beaming down on this slice of the planet. And you find me on my bed with my window open, now don't think that I'm lazy and not gotten up yet in fact its quite the contrary, I have been up since around sevenish. I have rearranged my head, room, and existance. There is music playing from just above my bed so I am allowing it to consume me flooding my body with illusions and magic. I have been reading more recently so my creative juices are flowing on causing me to think in circles and enjoy the journey my thoughts are taking me on.
I aren't one for holidays, well not the normal notion of holidays. The thought of going somewhere to sit in the sun and relax isn't appealing, I prefer the time to sort things that needed taking care of, you know the jobs that you think I'll do that later but then never get round to doing it, that is how I spend my holidays. Clearing out the backwash. Although this year I do plan on taking a trip its just finding someone to go with most people don't like the cold and I want to see the aurora borealis and you can only do that from a cold country, maybe if I can cuddle up around a campfire they will change their minds?

Maybe.

Once, Upon.

I am a fan of fairy tales, not the messed up ones that you tell to children to get them to do something they don't want to do. I aren't sure if people realise just how much romance are in them. The thought of making everything ok with a kiss is a tried and tested storybook ending. Its a brilliant notion and one I would love. I often imagine simple things like someone falling in love with me. I know thats an easy thing to want and there are many of us out there who are still trying to find that special someone but sadly it isn't as easy as in fairy tales. There might be an evil witch and possibly even dragons but I have not found any sure fire ways to find out if someone is in love with you. No escaping from a petrifying forest or slaying a mythical beast, so instead I try to work it out. Its not as simple as formulas and math its more about trial and error.
This would seem quite easy for some guys, endlessly "pulling" lasses and basically thinking they are in love because they are allowed to sleep with them. Me, personally I would love to find someone who would rather just curl up on a sofa and watch some crap tv. But alas the person who does this is a rare specimen, one whom doesn't think that the simple things aren't wierd. Its not strange and it is now frowned upon in modern society. Guys need to be muscle bound idiots or skinny little brats, but I tell you this now one day soon the average joe with be what is desired.

And this average joe cannae wait.

Kitchen. Message.

I like favours, its a simple gift but they can mean a lot to people if they know how, and when to use them. You may not see how that is connected to the title but it is, let me assure you.

Every year if you recieve a christmas card from me it is like a token that entitles you to a free favour. It is a tradition thaet I started when I was penniless, I have not always been as care free with money as I am today. A coupla of years back I was well and truly penniless, my bank account had been emptied by an ex. I was booted out of where I was living, and had very little to look forward to. Now I work part time/full time in a retail environment. Still with nothing in the bank but I have a place to live and a handful of friends. But yeah you don't want to read something depressing like that so a quick change of subject.

Ducks in roller skates!

I spent the majority of the morning in an unfamiliar kitchen cooking a meal for a family (not my own) for the simple fact it was a sunday and they were having a get together. So with a fridge full of raw ingredients I set to.

Coconut bread with leek, onion and potatoe soup. Made from scratch.

Seperate roasts, duck, beef and turkey. with all the trimmings, including sweet potatoe roasts and asparagus.

And for dessert, caramel baskets with a dark chocolate base red berries and vanilla icecream.

To follow that I went to asda and got a pizza for my family can you guess why? They don't appreciate good food and would live on takeaway food if they could.

But hey I got a smile from the delightful AY so its a good day.

and remember people the day is good.

A. Confession.

So I wasted a day today, but it was good. I clonged my head, I made myself sick, I got really dizzy and I got completly horizontal. All in public aswell.

If you are reading into that then you probably have some really twisted thoughts of what I have been up to. So a quick explanation is heading your way if you continue to read. I was in a playpark. I know, I'm twenty four, and should be acting more grown up but swings push my buttons. Not sexually before you start to think of me as creepy. And that wasn't even the highlight of the day.

I have admitted to someone that I am asexual. If you aren't sure what that means then it basically means I have no intrest in sex. Yeah thats right I am 24, male and asexual. The downside is I would love to be a dad more than anything, I think I would be good at it and I want to leave my mark on the world. Now this shouldn't be a problem in todays society, where people are quite enlightened and genuine. What gets me is the fact that I think that this explains my attitude to being stereotyped, I share very few intrests with most people my age.

Now the only problem I can see is explaining it to my parents, so I figure its easier to just not tell them. Then again I can tell you people but then you are at the other side of a computer screen and this is kind of anonymous.

Good Night and Fair Thee.

Crushed. Bubble.

A new blog and a change of text, so here it is, saturday night. I'm sat on an uncomfy sofa wrapped in a blanket (not because I'm cold but it saves me putting on a pair of pants)And I have blown it. I found what I saw as perfection and then realised it was a hope of a dream. Someone who got me. My dress sense, my ecclectic musical taste, my dry and sometimes dark sense of humour. Whoa slow down Garry! I'm not telling the full story here, and that is at least what you deserve to hear. So lets start anew.

Hi, how are you? Good me too! So the pleasantries are now out the way. I have been pining for someone for about a year. I like being single but I would love to have someone to share my life with that I don't have to pay(not prostitutes I am referring to my shrink). So after a couple of months I became enticed by someone. Ok thats not fair to you either, hows about a special someone, yeah thats better. A special someone, with brown hair and a cute laugh. Thats all I got from first impressions, yeah really blokey aren't I?(For any blokes out there imagine someone with huges boobs and then you might carry on actually reading) So ten months, sounds like a long time really doesn't it. Its not. ten months and she had wriggled her way into my bubble.Please refer to a previous post if you don't know what I mean by this. I could be miserable and then think of her and instantly smile, thats quite a feat when you consider how indifferent I am. I thought about her when I was glum, she featured in my daydreams. But now I have got her in trouble and I actually feel guilty, thats huge for me. The worst part is she considers us friends. Not normally a bad thing but I cannae do it. Everytime I see her I think what could be and now it won't. This is why I have my bubble, it protects me from all this, and the first time anyone has managed to be included in it and I get crushed. Guess instead of having a bubble I should just block out everything. Switch off and ignore.

Complete. Failure.

If I had one problem that I were to describe as my biggest failing, I would say its my imagination. I have this world created in my mind where nothing revolves around me but around the people I care about, now they were affectionally known as the clan. The clan happened to be mainly female and absolutely stunning, and I was proud to be able to class them as friends. Since the days of the clan I have found my self consistantly stuck in a area similar to the friendzone but its not been friendship, not even lust, more a case of dependance. I depend on people who constantly let me down but because they have been put on a pedestal in my mind they can do no wrong. So I no longer drink or smoke, and as a result I have started seeing people for who they are and not what I want them to be. Needless to say the clan disbanded, collectively owing me around 5k. It sounds pricey but its nothing when it has got them out of my life and shown that I canne trust them.

So now I am an emotional wreck, I don't enjoy those big events in life, you know birthdays christmas, and of course the most important, births. What I do still enjoy is the way my mind can create a scenario where things go right, a place where the people I find my self falling for actually have an intrest in me. HA! It doesn't happen, I fall for someone and then I get crushed, making me want to start drinking again.

Alas the only way I have found to solve this dilemma is to get rid, switch off, and generally shut down. So for that person whom I suspect knows who she is this is goodbye.

I'm. Scared

Every so often I have a thought that I cannot verbalise, when this happens I have one outlet that I trust. (I mean here if you aren't sure)
I like smells and my favourite has to be failure.

New. Year.

I AM OFFICIALLY BACK!!!!!

So the news you have all been waiting for. Yes it is me and not some facsimile. And I'm starting early this year as it feels right. After what can be describe as a dysmal year I have the correct date to try starting over. Not all has been bad, in fact there are some good points. Thats not a fair way to describe it, good people.Thats better, so this is me singing yor praises hope you don't mind.

The year has been eventful, I have made some friends and cut ties with others but that is how life goes, or so I am told. So lets get the negative out the way, goodbye and fair thee to Steph; Amy; Sophie; Jess; Lauren; Laura S. At some point you were all ranked highly in my clan, but now you have been cast out into the shadows, I will still be there if you need me but you have left me to solitude unless you needed something and that is now over. GOODBYE.

So on to what has gone right, The people who have graced the year and put up with my quirks. Well I say that but I mean the people who have looked past the exterior. so in no particular order here we go. Laura, from work thankyou for actually being a friend when I needed one and even when I didn't, its been good knowing that there was a net ready to catch me. Becca, You made a decent profit in comics but you could talk bollocks and eat rubbish food wth me whilst metaphorically holding my hand when I went a li'l screwy, and for that all I can offer you is a hug. Chris D, for standing up for me when people doubted me, you know I'm a prick but you still trust me. Chris C, you gave me a nickname and it made me feel welcomed. Bucker, you suck at being there when I needed someone to talk to who knows me, but you shared pizza hut with me and that has to be the basis of a good friendship. Daz, been there through my mental fart and hung around through the stink good to know you will be there if its possible for you to be, and your texts make me smile for no apparent reason. Tone, hardly spoken to you all year but you told me you missed me and that is something very few people say. Ashleigh, I see you for about an hour a week at most but you give me something to smile about four days a week and as a result my work has improved and in general my life has improved and long may that continue.

So thats the plaudits done so now for my new years resolution I will start going for the things I want in life and get back in shape. So if you will join me and raise a glass (or bottom part of a cocktail shaker) to 100 miles a week and a positive outlook.

With hope and care for your coming year.

Another post from the keyboard of GarryS.