About. Me.

I do love the two word titles, seriously I do. It takes no effort but normally it explains my blog post without reading through my ramblings. Its perfect you can work out my mood just by the two words I chose to label a post with, like this one, you can easily tell I will be writing about me. Or at the very least I will start typing about myself then start drifting into other topics that I know very little about.
So on with the purpose of this most unusual of blog posts, personally I aren't really that big on myself, I know what I am and thats always been enough for me. I've always been a free thinker never really enjoying the confines that were placed around me. The whole do this do that mentality never worked for me because I like to question things. Its actually not that common, most people if you tell them to do something they will use some kind of expletive and then go do it anyway, whereas I always like to know why I'm doing something, its part of the reason I don't cope well with compulsary education (evident by my very poor spelling) to be told that you are studying something because its on the syllabus is not enough, why is it on the syllabus, who put it there and what use will it be in life. I want to know that what I am doing is being done for a good reason. Now most reasons are good reasons, like "because I'd like you to do it" it shows a simple regard for another person and yet a certain fragility as well. I like to see peoples expose their underbelly, I don't want a complete headcase in my life, I want someone who is confident enough to show who and why they are. Someone who seems happy is either pretending they are happy or are truly happy, I want to know which. Its not a massive thing to want, well I don't think it is. I would like to find someone who I feel comfortable enough around to just go sit on a bench somewhere with them and watch people rushing around. I'm no social genius at all but I do like watching people, making up stories and scenarios for them inside my head, I don't see the need to rush everywhere just to get somewhere. Why do people rush so much, I will raise my hand up high and admit open heartedly that I rush, I rush to work so I can see people smiling, I rush out of work because I want to see the stars (not celebrities the ones in the sky) they have a calming affect on me, and as mushy as this sounds I like to know that everyone I care about are all under the same sky. I may be sounding a little emo by saying that but if you know anything about me you will know I am a li'l bit emo, I mean c'mon I still have a teddy bear. Not one of those people who goes out and buys one to show that he is sensitive, I just have one always have probably always will. So I feel like I should actually tell you something a bit more personal.
Okay maybe this new paragraph will encourage me to get a little bit more me, its true I am a bit messed up, I'm scared of people, not everyone but the thought of what people could be, so scared that I won't even ask out the person I have this (for want of a better word) crush on, I don't feel like I'm good enough for most people, I don't really fit in with any set groups I listen to my own little world through my headphones just so I can't be scared by the noises around me, I like wearing trainers more than anything else not expensive ones just ones that fit, I'm not a fan of clubs, they make very little sense to me, loud music that I don't like and surrounded by people whoyou can't hear a word they are saying. I much prefer simpler things like sitting on a wall and chatting or even just getting a slush puppy and watching clouds, one question I have found explains more about a person than any other is "your house is on fire, what three things would you rescue?" If you take this situation as my family aren't home its pretty easy to answer, my mozzy (MP3 player), my journal, My wallet. anything other then that wouldn't be worth grabbing. With the fact that I am meant to be getting an early night tonight, I really ought to sign out now so just a quickie to finish off with, well nothings coming to mind, so I'll just say, if I love you you know I love you and that should be enough. G'night!