Trust. Hair.

OK so I have had chinese food for my evening meal so I figure it was only fair to write another blog for those whom stumble upon this little slice of headspace. I woke up a couple of days ago next to someone, well actually she was a very good friend of mine who crashes at my place quite often, and I sleep wearing a sock, sometimes a Tshirt aswell if I can't be bothered to get undressed, but thats a little more then you need to know but I'll continue anyway. So if you haven't gathered by now I'm a bit squiffy in the hair department, its long-ish, well shoulder length. I know some people think long hair looks good on a guy but the people I care for most would prefer if it wasn't as long. One of these people has offered a deal for me to shave my head. A deal that I would actually consider as well. But alas I have always found that I won't let anyone touch my hair, not touch my hair but to cut it. So I am in need off finding someone I trust enough to tackle my mane. It is actually quite hard to find someone I trust to abuse my hair, I don't like barbers or hairdressers and I used to have someone who would cut my hair and play with it and she was wonderful. It looked good, felt good and it even smelled good. And to top it off she had amazing breasts that used to fell amazing whilst she worked her magic on my hair. So if anyone has any offers then I will gratefully accept them and take them into consideration. So yeah if you fancy butchering my hair then you may but please bare in mind a stunning body is always a bonus and hey I'll even pay you for doing it.

Valentines. Day.

Three posts in a short amount of time, I do seem to be spoiling you, not that I mind, it makes me feel a little better know at least someone reads this. As you probably guess I aren't the biggest fan of traditional days of romance, I don't understand the point of roses or an expensive box of chocolate or even champagne. All those things don't say love to me, anyone can ask their assistant/secretary to go out and buy those things for them, how is that romantic? I know that a couple of my friends are putting a lot of effort into valentines day, they have bought food and are currently cooking meals for the people they are in a relationship with, I know because I have recieved a call already on how to make a souffle (not something you can explain over the phone by the way) It all seems a little needless to me. So by now you are probably thinking "oh this guy is a miserable tosser" or something along the lines of that, but I really aren't! Romance isn't about how much time you spend together on a certain day of the year, its about everyday, not just the ones where everything is going smoothly but the ones where you fight aswell. I will admit I am single this year and I was last year also. But that does not stop me from seeing what happens around me,I have been watching people rush out into town to buy things for their beloved, showing just how little today means to them apart from a higher chance of getting laid. Some people will be having chinese food others just lots of wine but the best ever valentines day I have ever had was so simple I was sat on the beach at withernsea with a bag of nik-naks nothing special planned ut had a blanket with me, and when my partenr at the time turned up we sat together just watching the stars listening to the sounds of the north sea and then it rained. Simple effective and well not expensive in the slightest. Ok now I sound like some cheapskate don't I. Well that isn't entirely fair, just because I didn't make an effort that day showed how much of an effort I make the rest of the year. I have a friend who I won't name because he might get pissed at me for using him in my blog, he is a bastard seriously, if I weren't his friend I'd hate him, every year I watch him go and buy a cheap botle of wine and some skanky chocolates which he then offers to his partner on valentines day then he tells her that he loves her then goes out and gets well and truly drunk, leaving her at home, and everytime he comes home he pukes on the doorstep and then walks in, he may not seem like a good person to be dating but they have been together for five years, he has it good so he dosn't mind it but she, well she is scared to be on her own, which is strange because she is amazingly attractive and a sweet person on top of that, when I go round theirs I end uphanging out in the kitchen with her cooking, she could have anyone she wanted just by batting her eyelids at them but she doesn't because he says those three little words. It just doesn't seem fair. Now I aren't one for getting champagne and chocolates because one day of the year dictates I should, I do it whenever I feel like doing it, not because I want to get laid but, because I feel people deserve to be special all year round not just on one day! And hopefully one of these years I'll be allowed to feel special aswell.


Fingers crossed x

Losing. Faith.

Ok round two. I did have a full paragraph written already but then my laptop dcided to shut itself down, dumb huh?!? So one good thing about it is I get to start afresh with a nice shiny white box to type words into. Right I'm cold and wet, I needed to think so I went for a cold shower, freezing cold, I don't know why but it helps me think for some reason and my hair looks wicked cool when its wet. So yeah losing faith, if you know me you'll know I aren't religious, well not a normal type of religion, but I do believe in karma and for some reason some superstitions always get me flustered, none of the old don't step on the crack stuff..., more like the little things like holding your breath when walking by a graveyard. Although that probably does sound silly now that I can see it in black and white. But this isn't the kind f faith I am losing, I like watching things especially people, not like through windows as they get undressed or anything like that but just people. They interest me, but walking home today I saw something that really disappointed me. I walk the same route home most days, through tesco to ge a drink and something to eat then out through the back entrance (oxymoronic I know) where I see a small group of kids playing with a rugby ball, that might not seem strange considering I live in a city with two top (?) flight rugby league teams in, and at first I smiled because hey atleast they aren't stuck inside watching TV and getting fat, until a notice a young looking lass, not young as in single digits but more around a similar age to me, a cute person I must add, with a pushchair with a sleeping child in it. Ok maybe she had run out off chocolate pudding or whatever but she had been wandering around tesco the same time as me, I only noticed as we had exchanged smiles whilst in the store. Now back to the group of kids with the ball, for some reason unknown to me they were kicking the ball towards this woman and child as if they were aiming for them, I figured maybe they had just spliced the ball and it was sheer coincidence that it went in their direction, until they kicked it again, and again it went toward the two of them this time hitting the handle of the pushchair and thus waking the child. Now I will admit I aren't the most intimidating of people, I aren't quite six foot and most fourteen year olds I know tower over me in height but I am quite bulky, but I don't like to see things happen in front of me. So I walked over to the mom and her child to make sure they were alright, just what any normal person would do, right? Then the next thing I hear is a thud coming from behind me and then feel something hitting me in the back. I know ou know what it was, the ball had hit me in the back, now anyone will tell you I'm fairly easy going and enjoy a laugh but when you see some annoying little shits laughing because they are tormenting a young mother, well that gets on my goat. So I unplug my earphones to listen if they say sorry, just in case it was an accident, giving them the benefit of the doubt. Then I overhear them say to do it again. Now that I have warning I had time to react. So as the ball approached me I turned and caught it. Now if I had booted it onto the roof there is no telling what may of happened so quickly working out my options I take out my lock knife and stab the ball, then squeezed all the air out of it. Now if I had done that and kept the ball that would of counted as theft so I happily returned the ball to its rightful owners, throwing it straight at them as if it were a throwing knife, it hits one of them in the face, oops, they start shoutingthings at me and make their way towards me, so I did the only hing I could do which was pull my scarf down from around my face and growl. You may find that strange but when something angers me I growl and my eyes go a little bigger all in all looking slightly deranged. Upon one look of my snarling angry facethey turned tail and left, now no gentleman would leave a young mother in that situation so I walked her home as it was only a couple of streets away if it was any further I would have called a cab just so I would know she got home safe. So it begs the question, what kind of parents must this group of kids hae to raise them without even a single shred of decency? I hope this next generation may start to appreciate what they have and raise children of their own with a little more common sense and raise them to respect people as a whole. If not then its going to be a rough twenty years ahead of us. Someone help us!

About. Me.

I do love the two word titles, seriously I do. It takes no effort but normally it explains my blog post without reading through my ramblings. Its perfect you can work out my mood just by the two words I chose to label a post with, like this one, you can easily tell I will be writing about me. Or at the very least I will start typing about myself then start drifting into other topics that I know very little about.
So on with the purpose of this most unusual of blog posts, personally I aren't really that big on myself, I know what I am and thats always been enough for me. I've always been a free thinker never really enjoying the confines that were placed around me. The whole do this do that mentality never worked for me because I like to question things. Its actually not that common, most people if you tell them to do something they will use some kind of expletive and then go do it anyway, whereas I always like to know why I'm doing something, its part of the reason I don't cope well with compulsary education (evident by my very poor spelling) to be told that you are studying something because its on the syllabus is not enough, why is it on the syllabus, who put it there and what use will it be in life. I want to know that what I am doing is being done for a good reason. Now most reasons are good reasons, like "because I'd like you to do it" it shows a simple regard for another person and yet a certain fragility as well. I like to see peoples expose their underbelly, I don't want a complete headcase in my life, I want someone who is confident enough to show who and why they are. Someone who seems happy is either pretending they are happy or are truly happy, I want to know which. Its not a massive thing to want, well I don't think it is. I would like to find someone who I feel comfortable enough around to just go sit on a bench somewhere with them and watch people rushing around. I'm no social genius at all but I do like watching people, making up stories and scenarios for them inside my head, I don't see the need to rush everywhere just to get somewhere. Why do people rush so much, I will raise my hand up high and admit open heartedly that I rush, I rush to work so I can see people smiling, I rush out of work because I want to see the stars (not celebrities the ones in the sky) they have a calming affect on me, and as mushy as this sounds I like to know that everyone I care about are all under the same sky. I may be sounding a little emo by saying that but if you know anything about me you will know I am a li'l bit emo, I mean c'mon I still have a teddy bear. Not one of those people who goes out and buys one to show that he is sensitive, I just have one always have probably always will. So I feel like I should actually tell you something a bit more personal.
Okay maybe this new paragraph will encourage me to get a little bit more me, its true I am a bit messed up, I'm scared of people, not everyone but the thought of what people could be, so scared that I won't even ask out the person I have this (for want of a better word) crush on, I don't feel like I'm good enough for most people, I don't really fit in with any set groups I listen to my own little world through my headphones just so I can't be scared by the noises around me, I like wearing trainers more than anything else not expensive ones just ones that fit, I'm not a fan of clubs, they make very little sense to me, loud music that I don't like and surrounded by people whoyou can't hear a word they are saying. I much prefer simpler things like sitting on a wall and chatting or even just getting a slush puppy and watching clouds, one question I have found explains more about a person than any other is "your house is on fire, what three things would you rescue?" If you take this situation as my family aren't home its pretty easy to answer, my mozzy (MP3 player), my journal, My wallet. anything other then that wouldn't be worth grabbing. With the fact that I am meant to be getting an early night tonight, I really ought to sign out now so just a quickie to finish off with, well nothings coming to mind, so I'll just say, if I love you you know I love you and that should be enough. G'night!