Duck. Duck.

It may seem like a strange title for a blog post, but there is an old playground game called duck duck goose. I hope I don't have to explain the game to you as I don't technically know the rules myself but I know it involves running around. Yet again I am wandering off the blog writing path, but yeah all my friends are split into groups, 3 to be accurate, first we have the clan, a small group of females who mean more to me than time itself, we then have the crowd, the people who are so popular that they can befriend anyone however they chose to befriend me, and finally we have the others, it may seem like not the nicest way to describe them but its very apt, more friends out of association rather then because we hang out. Although the groups are totally different it is easy to switch between groups as all the groups are part of the gaggle. Gaggle is the name for a group of geese, and afer about two years of non goosing (if that can even be classed as a word) I have regained my goose. Knowing the type of people who will read this they will probably think of goose as some kind of innuendo and then giggle to themselves. I inform you GOOSE used to be one of my closest friends until I went into hiding.I go into hiding quite a bit now less then I used to but we all need to get away from everything every now and again. So yeah I have refound my GOOSE, you're probably thinking "why does he keep writing goose in green?" but there is a simple answer to it and that answer is its her fave colour, and she has the most wickedbonny green eyes. Ha thats narrowed it down for you to try and work out who it is now, she'll know that I mean her. I keep referring to my goose as a her because I haven't asked her if she minds me using her name in this random assortment of words that I call a blog.

So yeah well ermm..... I feel I have waffled on too long already so all I want to conclude with is GOOSE, its good to have you back in my life, the clan always feels different when your not in it.

Fashion.

Fashion is always near the fore front of my mind. HA! thats a blatant lie, its rarely anywhere at all. I've never known life to be so awkward because of what you wear. Walking home today on the way through St Stevo's I watched people flock to a clothing store to buy what they concieve to be fashionable. Skinny jeans and converse, I don't see how thats fashionable. I will admit that when not being fashionable was fashionable, (kind of an oxymoron I know) that was when I was fashionable since then my dress sense has evolved into what it is today. massive jeans and comfy T-shirts and a hoody tied around my waist, oh and the shoes, well thats a totally different matter, I were a few different brands of footwear as they fit but I have to admit that airwalk are my faves, but mine are like no other pair, I coloured them in with permanent marker one day because I was bored.
So I'll be honest today I saw the most amazing person I don't think you could class her in any social stereotype by what she was wearing but my god she was absolutley on the money dress sense wise. Some kickass trainers with baggy jeans that showed off her bottom perfectly, with a purple shirt, not a dark bold gothicy purple but more of a pastel shade, with a navy corset top on over it, with specs on and headphones in. I cannae explain how hot she looked but if I was female I would dress like that. Oh and did I mention she had firey red hair. Damn she looked beautiful! Might not be your taste but hey its fine in my eyes.

Thankyou stranger with kickass dress sense you have made my morning!

Self Harm.

Its a funny thing self harm, well not funny par se but its an interesting topic. Lets say a person is so morally depressed that they cut themself, where does it get them? I was thinking about that earlier, I aren't going to start cutting myself, but seriously what does it do? Quite a few of my friends used to or still do cut themselves, one of them thinks it makes him look tough. Well thats gotta be the worst reason out of the numerous that I have heard. I mean when you think about it how does cuting into something that is dead make sense. Its dead skin it has no feeling to it until you get through atleast a couple of layers. But there is a common misconception to self harming and most people overlook it but what about the emotional pain its less visable and in a lot of cases more painful. My personal preference is emotional pain. Not only does it eat away at you constantly but you can hide it really easily unless of course you burst in to tears quite easily.
Everyone has a preferene, and I will go out on a limb and say that I think, and this is totally on my personal experience, that everyone has self harmed atleast a couple of times, take me for instance I am constantly falling in love with people I can never be with, and I fall so hard it hurts I do it knowing full well that I am going to end up hurting myself. But if you can honestly say that you have never sef harmed then I applaud you and you have my sincerest apologies for making such a harsh statement, but if you look inside yourself and see in anyway that you have hurt yourself then raise your hand and be counted as one of the "normal" people. Be proud that you are individual enough to admit to doing something so socially awkward and inconsiderate.
I say inconsiderate and you probably think of it as a negative but in all honest I believe that you are mislead what it means is that you have the ability to remove yourself from your environment enough so that you can forget everyone around you and watch them suffer unknowingly, because they know that you are doing it, no matter how hard you try and hide it with gloves and a change of dress sense, I'm telling you they know, not through ESP or something like that but hey you must be a big enough part of someones for everyone to not notice.
I cannot judge you at all, to some of you a may just be a nerd who spends too much time sat at a computer writing things that hardly anyone reads, and to others I am the shoulder that they cry on when things go wrong, and to the few people who might read this that I know from work will know me as a guy with bad hair a rubbish appearance and a good taste in cookies, but when all is said and done you are the one reading this which kind of makes me think that I am a big enough part of your lives for you to take the time out of your busy schedules (even if it is just playing halo or sitting in an office staring blankly into a screen wondering why you are still in a office when the weather is so lovely) so thank you for making this guy feel a little more needed in a world that doesn't let us know what we mean to it.

Well hmmm....

Its a strange thing the human mind, it works in so many ways that you cannot understand it. It has the power to control your body, and make you disgusted by the thought you can and will have. I point this out as I believe that my mind is leading me on a merry dance, toying with my emotions like they are a puppy, not sure what is going on around it but seems happy just to be.
I have a friend who I love to peices more then I should really but I don't have the, for want of a better word, cajones to tell them so, I know more fool me for typing this on a blog that maybe one or two people read so only they know how I feel. I could actually try social interaction in the real world but then what would scare me the most the people or the lack of anonanimity of it, I mean it would be face to face. Now lets be honest I wouldn't wish that on anyone, you see I aren't attractive or not in the stereotypical way, I don't have the chiselled abs the pecks of an ancient god or even a face that could be mistaken as a work of raphael (if you don't know who that is well you are on a laptop so just google him), I would go as far as to say I have a certain flair to everything that I do. A quirky charm you might call it, like referring to people as chief or sitting in a train station colouring in my shoes. See I am what is known as a shoulder, I make people feel better about themselves by making a complete idiot out of myself almost anything I can do to get the desired effect. You can call me gullible or say that I am being used by the people I regard highest, but I disagree, if anything I am using them, each and everyone one of my friends has an attribute that I need in my life, okay I know that sounds sucky but I will try to explain, One of my friends is the cleverest guy I have ever met, he may not be the most acadmically gifted person but he is a social chameleon, seriously he fits in where ever he goes, and that kind of makes me fit in when I am with him. So that wasn't the best explanation of what I mean but I'm hoping you kinda sorta get what I'm trying to put across.
So yeah back to the brain thing its strange how it makes people think of saying and phrases that stick with you through life, one of my favourites is "friends are the family that you choose yourself" everytime I hear that I shiver because if that right then I have thought about sex with my sisters quite a bit,(not my actual sisters but my female friends) and that would seem more then a little wrong. But yeah the little tidbits of genius that you hear in town.
Ah yeah the most awesomest thing happened in town the other day, I was sat on this high raised planter, I say high raised but its only about 2foot high, and this little kid, maybe 5-7years old was walking along the wall and just as he reached me his parent (I say parent as I don't want to say either mum or dad of the child as you may see it as me saying which is the better parent) grabbed them by the wrist and yanked them off the wall, the kid fell onto a footpath and scraped their knee, crying its little eyes out you could here the parent say "you don't know what kind of man that is so you should stay away" How good is that? All I was doing was sitting outside in the sun waiting for the queue in the bank to go down and someone implies hat people should stay away from me, I ain't the one injuring children to keep them safe.

But I feel I have ranted long enough so I will leave you with the best line I have heard in a TV show ever.
"noone likes a blonde in a hamster ball" Veronica Mars.