3 things...

I am human, I know that comes as a suprise but, I promise you that when you look at me I am kinda like you. I have flaws and advantages to my being as all humans have, its a sign of humanity, I would even say its normlity. I am sarcastic to everyone and I use it as a defense mechanism and an ice breaker, it sums up what and who I am. But the main thing that makes me feel human is the fact that I get scared.
Everyone has fears some are more strange then others but we all have them. I work through my fears but there are three things that really scare me. The first is one most of my friends know is worms, feel free to take the piss but when you think about it they are scary they wriggle through mud so you never know where they are so in theory they could be wriggling between your toes if you are walking barefoot.
The second is rejection, its a basic human fear, noone doesn't have this fear, I guarantee that even if you say you don't have it its there skulking in the deepest darkest hollows of your mind. See even now you are probably thinking "no that doesn't scare me!" but when you wake up in the middle of the night you will realise that it is scary.
Finally my other major fear is hospitals I don't know why but they scare the crap outta me, even now I am all goose-pimply just with the thought of them. So I will leave it at that and let you all get some shut eye because you will need it for the day thats is coming.

Sweet dreams

justification.

What has made man the top of the food chain? We aren't the fastest, nor the strongest, and we definatley aren't the cleverest. We may have evolved but when you look at the grander scale of things we are still millenia behind. We have the thumb and fingers, but look what we have used them for, to weild weapons and to make tools making our lives easier but to what end? We have lost the ability to advance in ourselves, opting to let technology to do the work for us. We entertain ourselves through electronic gadgetry, I will admit I am more guilty then most for this, I mean I am here right now typing on a laptop rather than spending time with my friends or family. Although I do understand the need for technology, but I see no progress in it, in fact all I see is the opposite, man created the remote control so we didn't have to get up and change the channel on something meaning it is now possible to sit on the sofa all day, and I do mean all day, with the addition of fast food at home we don't even spend time in the kitchen cooking with friends but instead we just stick something in the microwave and turn the dail, or push in the desired time in on the keypad, and on the rare occurance that we do actually decide to stay and wait for the food to "cook" we end up staring at the timer as if we don't trust it to count the seconds itself. How is it food? Gone are the days when you would get a family cooking a meal together, its a travesty.
We shout to each other when we are mearly a few metres away from each other, and why?, because its just to much effort to shuffle our little feet a few inches at a time until we are withing talking distance or even worse when they ring someone up who is a couple of rooms away. I hate to say it but in my house we do have a phone system that doubles as an intercom and I have been known to use it, only to call up to the top floor (we live in a 3/4 storey house(I say 3/4 as some people count a cellar as a floor) and when you have just come down from the top floor and need to go straight back up it is a little disheartening.
And now on to that wonderful invention, television, we have all these methods to save time during the day so we can spend time together doing nothing more then look at the ol' magic picture box in the corner. No longer do we have a pleasant conversation about how ones day has been, we have reached the point were you are lucky to even get a thank-you between mouthfuls of half digested food.
I have this friend (no I don't use this as a way of telling my story without people thinking its me I do really have a friend!) she has been my rock and my hardplace for about a year or so now and she has all this time on her hands as her bloke has found a "mistress", if she reads this I am sure she will know who I mean without naming names. I will not lie to you though she is such a beautiful person physically that most of my male friends who have seen her have thought about sex with her, me included! But I degress form my point, she is in a happy relationship but she somehow always makes time for me, you may think its a sign of a good friend but Its more then that, oh and damn she has an incredible set of pins.
So all in all I want you to think about the fact that although I am a hypocrite for ranting whilst using a laptop I just wonder if any of my few readers have found that they are dropping crumbs on their keyboard when they read this and if so why are you not eating at a table with the ones you hold nearest and dearest?

welcome to this corner of my life.

You know me, an easy going guy with a high spirit and a jovial personality, well if you agree with that then you obviously don't know me at all. I am a miserable person who is caught up in his own little world of fear hatred intrigue and sarcasm, yet only for about 3-6 months of the year the rest of the time I can be this really friendly guy who would do anything to help anyone, or even better, everyone. but this is the first blog post of the three month downer and probably the last until I cheer myself up a little. I like how people label it as seasonal affected disorder, I think thats what its called, when you get depressed when its raining and happy when its sunny, a.k.a. bullshit, how is it a problem everyone has it.
"aww look its raining outside I can't go out now"
Why not? I'm not sure if you realise it but its water! You bathe in it, you drink it. Why are you scared of letting it on your skin?

Yeah this doesn't really affect me, I like the rain, I love the fact that people hide under shelter so the streets are almost totally mine, its freedom incarnate, and I really do love it. The way you feel water running down your face and its cold so you feel it loads and your skin tightens and you just feel....wow.....thats the only way you can describe it.

But yeah this is the sadness and you are welcome to join me in it, and you will find that the world becomes a much more sarcasrtic place, but damn its fun.

Respect.

Words are spoken between people everyday but yet we don't realise how much they offend, but then again a lot of the time silece is more offensive. Sometimes it upsets me, I will openly admit that the age of chivalry is over, dead infact, but how did it die? The culture we live in defines us. The ideal that with age comes wisdom has been blown out of the water, another thing we are bought up to believe is to respect our elders. I don't see how it relates, you hold open a door for someone, not because they are carrying something, just to be polite the least you can expect, nay SHOULD expect is a thankyou or a smile. Instead we get a snarl or just ignored as if we have to do it, we don't its a CHOICE! We choose to do it, because in general we are good people, not just because we don't follow convention just because everyone deserves to feel valued. Me, you and everyone else we all contribute to life in someway or another.
As for respecting elders how does that relate to modern day society? I agree wouldn't be around if it wasn't for them, but that is just evolution and genetics but when the respect that they demand is recipricated then they will start to get more in life, do they forget that with age comes wisdom but also senilaty you can have all the wisdom in the world but if you cannae remember it then what use is it?
Maybe I am just ranting yet I feel that more is expected from the younger generations but if people don't get what they want then maybe they should of passed their skills on for something worthwhile not money but just the fact that someone else is wanting to learn from them. It could be why people are stuggling to attract enough people to the teaching proffessions, maybe because they get no espect nowadays, but to let you in on a secret, respect is not something you can earn nor is it something you can demand, you have to feel it. If you cannae feel respect then you obviously do not warrant the respect that you deem yourself worthy of.

I apologise for anyone who reads this, but with reading this you earn my admiration and deserve a hug at the very least.