Feelings

Right its been a long while since I've been here to be honest its because I have been blooging in my mind, its like I have wallpapered my head with random scribbles of words that make no sense to anyone but me and only me. Almost mummified in a cocoon of my own thoughts. Its been an eventful time inside my head, less work means more time to think and more thinking isn't necessarily a good thing, most of the time it just means I have more time to get taffled up in my emotions. Normally love lust and fear, I find that I have been trying to fill in the void with false hopes that the one person I have feelings for might actually return the feelings, I can but hope. The scary thing is I don't even know if she has even thought about me in the same way I think of her. I have never felt like this its almost like she has the ability to make me feel like a child or teenager again, maybe thats why I like her so much?
I have had plenty of time to think about my fears aswell, slowly dissolving every one of my little fears into the facts that they are, almost analysing them just to eliminate the fear that I may have of them, but no matter what I can't get rid of this fear of rejection. If only I could find out if she does like me, but I can't ask because if she says no I will be crushed.
This is the downside of having such attractive friends that are not only insanely attractive but amazing people aswell. Damn if I could only find out.